The Amazing Spider-man inside: Deadpool
by obama bin laden
Summary: Deadpool decides to pay spiderman a visit one day, and um... things just go waaay downhill from there. I was way too high on sugar when I wrote this.


Authors note: I dont know why I wrote this, I had a shit ton of caffine today, and I must of been sugar high, oh well, enjoy this fanfic and pray it doesnt scar you for life.

Time to flip on the diareea dial!

The Amazing Spiderman in: deadpool! (The unoffical prequel to the deadpool movie for 2014)

By: Obama Bin Laden

Warning: Rated R for retarded.

One day, peter was lying in his bed gazing at the celing, there was ironiclly no crime that on any of the streets that day.

He got up and stared out the window, quietly looking at thecivilians down below his apartment. He breathed a big sigh of relief. Today he was going to finally go all the way his MJ, and the hour of her arrival at his dorrstep was comming up. he said relaxed, "wow, a city full of millions and not one person robbing another. Oh well at least we wont be distracted" it was then he heard an evilish laughing voice.

Peter looked up, and saw a red ninja antihero above him 'Heyo ya two legged freak! I overheard what you said, and I would like to be the first to rob somthing today in NYC. Starting with your butt verginity!"

Peter thinks to himself. 'Wow, thats one way to amit your love to a stranger you've never met before, and what the hell... Butt verginity?'

Peter asked the man in the red mask, "What's your name? The man replied, "It's deadpool, and I want to give your tight little anus a cleaning faster than 20 cimmy chunggas!"

Peter, shocked at how silly (and immature) this guy was, replyed to deadpool, "sorry I'm striaght, and anyway, I'm suppose to fuck my girlfirend for the first time in about an hour.

Deadpool then reaches behind his back and pulls out a bag, he than explains "You mean that bimbo I ate out just a second ago?" As he reached into the bag, he pulled out Mjs severed head.

Peter shreeks at the sight of such horror, his girlfirend was dead! Deadpool then says "you screamed like this girl did while I was pounding her organs a second ago, she loved how I used my sludgehammers on her face as we partied, she even said I had major league talent!

Peter inturupted, 'You fucker! That was my ticket out of being a total nerd! Ill kill you!" Furious, Peter slings a web shot at deadpool, but misses due to his blind rage. Deadpool felt he wasnt going to get spider-balls today if things kept up like this, he came up with an idea. "Let's compromise, will you fuck me if i wear this sexy face over my head?"

Peter thought about it hard. Now that MJ, one of the only girls he has ever loved, was now dead, how would be pop his own cherry? He wanted his virignity gone badly, and he felt discoraged losing it to a guy, but at the same time, he could still keep his priomise to MJ about having sex with her... kind of.

"why not?"

Then it started Deadpool slips Mjs head on like a halloween mask. and says in her voice: "Hey tiger, do you want a cleavlend steamer?"

Deadpool then jumps onto Peters bed and takes off his lower tights. Peter also jumps on the bed and begins to lie down below deadpools ass, deadpool then bends over, ready to aim and fire to into peter's mouth. As Peter stated "my spidey sense is tingling!" his member began to grow in multiple places. Deadpool wondered why, but didnt care because he had eaten 20 cimmy cungas that morning, and had to really take a dump. So he aimed his butthole over peters mouth,

"We got liftoff in 3... 2... 1!"

As his anal muscles expand, Deadpool spilled shit all over peter's face, barly getting any in his mouth. Deadpool sighed in relief, (those chimmychungas didnt sit well with him) peter wiped his face screaming "WOW! This is way better than jacking off! Do it again, and this time tell me its fucking raining!"

Deadpool explained, 'honeslty, im a bit dry. I just shat 20 cimmy cungas onto your face just now." Peter looked confused, "well, you must of had lunch by now, so that should still be digesting right now." So then spiderman had an idea, he websling himself into deadpools anus, Deadpool giggled like a femboy as peter began to crawl up his ass. Once Peter's entire head was up in there, he then saw wierd bones in the lower part of deadpolls intestinse, and judging by the shape of the skull, he quickly finds out it was the remains of his long lost Uncle Ben! he then procedes to pull them out, tearing up deadpools colen as he did so.

Meanwhile downstairs, aunt may heard the shitstorm going on upstairs and went up to see if everything is allright. Suddenly, the smell of the shit covering uncle ben's bones turned the old coot on, and she storms into peters room... stripping... Peter was disguested, he told himself now that hes expeienced the glory of the male anus, he never wants to go back to women, ever. "Get out you fucking whore!" peter yelled, but deadpool suddenly inturrupted, 'Ill take care of this old timer!" he than procceded to jump buttox first on aunt mays head, and then began to shove her entire body into his colen.

peter became really hard watching this, and notices his penal toe started turning into a chode like hump, deadpool looked confused at the hump. Peter confessed, 'deadpool, i got a confession, when I was at the lab and have just been bitten by the spider, do you know why I didnt grow 8 legs? Its because I grew 8 units of somthing down there instead!' deadpool then replyed giddly, 'oooh goody! jizz on my brain and tell me its snowing like christmas! Peter was egar to do so, but then looked at his right hand dissapointed,  
I dont have enough arms."

A second later, the man himself, Jesus Christ, crawled out of deadpools now very loose anal cavity. Peter said "thank Jesus, it's fucking Jesus!" jesus than shared his knowledge: "My son, thank you very much for all the help with judging the NYC sinners for me, is there any way I can repay yo-"

"I want 7 extra arms!"

Jesus then clapped 3 times and said "done"!

Peters right torso began to grow seven more arms. Enthusiastic, he than proceeds to jack off all eight of his dicks, in which deadpool proceeds to open his head like a cookie jar, and peter sticks all eight very hard dicks into deadpool's brain.

"WOW! I got more dicks in my head than Mojo!" (X-men charcter btw)

but... just that second, deadpool woke up to his reality. "Why the fuck am I in such a stupid fanfic? I knew I should have done the marvel movie they offered me for 2014!"

Deadpool then "goatsed" his ass cheeks, and it then sucked everyone into the gaping hole, including the crew members off stage. Deadpoo than proceeds to walk off the stage, he grimmises, 'I hope I could still kiss marvels feet and get that offer for the movie after this and get away with it."

-FIN


End file.
